Stale Book Review #24: The Burning Wire

The Burning Wire by Jeffrey Deaver

Cost: $4.95US 

Page Count: 414

This review has been sitting in my 'Draft' folder for a little while now.  I figure that I might as well go ahead and write the review before every single detail about the book goes right on out of my head.  These things tend to happen.

Anyway, The Burning Wire is yet another in the Lincoln Rhyme series of books by Jeff Deaver.  For those that have never read a Rhyme book here's a little bit of info:  Rhyme was a hotshot forensic detective dude before he got injured and is now a quadriplegic.  He struggles with the condition but his mind is sharp and he still solves crimes with the assistance of Amelia Sachs, a cop and his lover.  Interesting, yes.  But, I am never interested in the romantic aspects of any book.  It just doesn't get to me like it does some people.

An interesting side note:  In the movie adaptation of The Bone Collector (an early Deaver work), Lincoln Ryhme is played by none other than Denzel Washington.  I love Denzel but Rhyme is clearly a white dude in the books.  Read them and you will see.  The casting really threw me off and ruined what could've been a great flick.  Still got love for you Denzel!

In The Burning Wire, a killer is on the loose and Rhyme and his team must catch him using their wits and forensics and such.  Not really a new plot theme, Deaver.  But anyway, the killer is using massive amounts of electricity to kill the victims.  That one IS new and pretty cool.  As is Deaver's style, the reader is led down many wrong paths, is pointed at would-be suspects that turn out to be innocent, and the like.  The Burning Wire doesn't have many surprises.  Until the end.

A side-plot of the novel is Rhyme's tracking, along with Mexican officials, of his arch-nemesis The Watchmaker.  The final showdown and reveal of the killer at the end of the book is what makes the whole thing worth reading.  It's actually kind of cool that Deaver somehow got his main plot and sub-plot to intertwine at the end.  But, I am not giving away book endings and shit.  That ain't my style.

You've gotta read it for yourself.  Or, check out the synopsis on Wikipedia if you're a punk-bitch and don't want to read the book.  If you can't afford it, shoot me an email and I'll send you my copy for free!

Stale Book Review #23: Inferno

Inferno by Dan Brown

Cost: $0.00US (Gift)

Page Count: 611

Ah, Dan Brown.  For all of his supposed faults, the man can write a fuckin' story.  Yes, there are those that nitpick on his 'facts' and claims.  I disagree with those people for one reason:  Brown is a FICTION writer and has, to my knowledge, never claimed to be writing true stories.  So, Inferno is another Brown work that I'm sure will get the history-buff's panties into quite a twist.

Inferno follows the ever-present Brown protagonist, Robert Langdon throughout Italy (again) while he efforts to regain his lost memory.  Yes, at the beginning of the book Langdon is suffering from a bout of amnesia.  Not the most clever start of a novel, but I can live with it.  Anyway, the chase is on with a cabal of enemies (again) as Langdon tries to find the missing death mask of famed author, Dante.  You know, the guy from the Divine Comedy fame.

So anyway, Langdon gets help from a lady (again), Sienna, a kind doctor who was helping him during his convalescence.  There's a whole twist about Sienna that you will have to read for yourself.  But, as usual, the inclusion of a secondary female character is getting a bit old.  Brown really needs to work on this aspect of his novels.  Sienna and Langdon find a little projector thingie that shows a map of Hell that must be interpreted if the mystery is to be solved.  Luckily, Langdon is a fucking genius at that shit.

Of course there are chases, gunshots, secret passages, and items within magnificent works of art that must be interpreted to reveal the location of the mask.  Of course there are bad guys hell bent on making sure Langdon fails.  Of course there are conspiracies involved.  Hell, this is what makes a Dan Brown novel.  Why should he stray from the formula?  It's made him one rich motherfucker.  

What's cool about Inferno is that there is never a lack of action.  The book ALWAYS moves along.  That is what makes Brown so popular.  People want to read a book that goes along at a brisk pace and Brown appeals to the TV watching public.  Kudos...he's a smart dude.

No spoilers here, folks.  You've just got to read the book.  Trust me, if you have a fifth grade education you can read this novel in no time.  

So, is Inferno worth a read?  Sure.  Is it something that is going to tax your brain and really cause you to think about the plot line?  Fuck no.  Inferno is the perfect beach-read or vacation novel.  It won't crush your brain and it'll keep your attention.

Is this 'high literature'?  Nope.  But, it's fun and that's what we look for in popular novels.

Isn't it?

Stale Book Review #22: The Man Who Loved Books Too Much

The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Allison Hoover Bartlett

Cost: $6.98US

Page Count: 262

Proving that I AM capable of spending more than a buck or two, I picked up The Man Who Loved Books Too Much for a staggering seven bucks..it was a hardback in the clearance bin.  So, not everything I read has to be paid for with pocket change.

The premise of The Man Who Loved Books Too Much is quite interesting.  It follows the author, yes this is a pseudo-biographical work, in her search for the title character, a man named John Gilkey.  Apparently, Mr. Gilkey was a scam artist who looked only to pilfer fine books in order to satiate his addiction to literature.  He wished to own a huge library filled with rare and valuable tomes.  So, the author, Ms. Bartlett, searches and interviews Gilkey and a small cast of booksellers who have been duped by the scammer.

There's actually not much in the way of 'action' in this book.  But, that's ok.  It's really a well-written document of one man's insatiable addiction to books.  The author tries to understand what makes the criminal tick, interviewing him in various places including prison.  Gilkey spends as much time in jail as he does free but doesn't really have much remorse for ripping off countless booksellers around the country.  In my humble opinion, Gilkey is a common thief and a typical lying douche.

One particular book-man, Ken Sanders, is prominently involved.  That's because he is the de-facto watchdog for the booksellers.  He acts as a sort of detective in trying to solve the theft of rare and valuable books.  Pretty neat job, if you can get it.  But, Sanders is obsessed himself.  Obsessed with finding those, not just Gilkey, that steal literary masterpieces.  So, in some respects there is a correlation between the criminal and the sleuth.  Sanders, at times, comes off as kind of a douche, as well.

Overall, I'd say The Man Who Loved Books Too Much was worth a read.  But, only because it is short.  Any longer, and I would have grown tired of the back and forth between the author and the criminal.  There is, however, a whole cornucopia of information about rare books and the business itself.  To me, that's cool because I am somewhat interested in the whole realm. But, to the layperson this may be sort of a snoozer.

Stale Book Review #21: The Closers

The Closers by Michael Connelly

Cost: $1.00US

Page Count: 403

The Closers is yet another Harry Bosch novel in the canon of M. Connelly.  While I normally really enjoy the Bosch novels, this one didn't really stick with me.  Seriously.  I finished it a little over a week ago and am having serious trouble trying to remember much about the book.  So, this review may be a little off kilter.

Harry Bosch had spent three years away from police work.  In The Closers, he returns to work with his old partner Kiz Rider in the unsolved crimes unit.  There is little pressure within the unsolved crimes unit and that doesn't really seem to fit with Bosch and his personality.  Anyway, the two snag an extremely old case and begin to work the case.  Turns out, there are some big wigs in the police force that were involved over twenty years ago on this case.

So, Bosch and Rider have to navigate some shitty police politics while still trying to solve the case.  Without giving much away, shit hits the fan and some big time officials get their asses in hot water.  Which, for Connelly, is fairly par for the course.

In The Closers, Michael Connelly didn't really break much new ground.  In fact, he may have written his most forgettable novel.  Which is a bummer because Connelly is a fairly talented writer and Harry Bosch is a haunted and interesting character.

This book...well, I can't tell you if it was good or bad.  It just was...there to be read.

Stale Book Review #20: The Zero Game

The Zero Game by Brad Meltzer

Cost: $0.90US

Page Count: 468

I've reviewed Brad Meltzer's books on Stale Reviews before.  In fact, I believe that I have read most of his catalogue.  To be absolutely truthful, I'm growing tired of his subject matter.  They always have the same protagonist with a similar plot line.  It's growing stale for me and I really wish he would mix up his formula a little bit.

Anyway, The Zero Game is just what you would expect from Meltzer.  There's two guys, both of whom have positions within offices on Capital Hill.  Nothing new there, Brad.  One of them presents the other with a game, The Zero Game, that places friendly wagers on legislation, how many pubic hairs a senator has, or any other mundane activity within Congress.  It seems harmless, of course.  That is until one of the two protagonists gets offed within the first forty pages.  Killing off a main character fairly early in the book is actually something new.  I liked it.

So, there is some betrayal.  There are some hair-raising chases.  There is a diabolical killer with a weird weapon of choice. The Zero Game is pure Meltzer.  Really, no one else could have written this book and no one reading would mistake it as anything but a Brad story.  

The Zero Game is kinda lame.  But, it's a super easy read and if you have the reading ability of a fourth grader you can knock this thing out in a day or two.  It might be the literary equivalent of an Everybody Loves Raymond Episode.  

Spoiler alert:  The good guys come out on top.  

Stale Book Review #19: The Resort

The Resort by Bentley Little

Cost: $0.50US

Page Count: 310

Oh Bentley Little.  You are forever a sick fuck.  Every single one of his books, that I have read anyway, have ended up being a mind bender and twisted in the most extreme of ways.  The Resort was no different.

Tucked away in the Arizona desert lays the Reata.  The Reata seems a typical five star resort where the rich and famous go to relax their cares away during the nicer months of the desert.  However, in the depths of the summer when temperatures soar, The Reata cuts their rates dramatically, giving normal folk a chance at some luxury.  That's exactly why Lowell Thurman and his family decided to take their family vacation in the desert.

In typical B. Little tradition, the resort is not what it seems.  There are ghosts, and phantoms, and visions, and a myriad of other fucked up situations that arise.  The Thurmans' sons get caught up in the whole mess and try to do a little Scooby Doo investigating.  Needless to say, their investigations do not turn out well.  There is no old caretaker hiding under a sheet spooking the guests like in the cartoon.  Nope, this is some real deal shit going on down at the Reata.

This book...it's messed up.  But, in a good way.  Bentley Little can write a page turner and I plowed through this one a day or so.  Not exactly Tolstoy.  However, you won't be disappointed when you put down The Resort.  

Good book.  Fun times.  Just a little twisted.

On a side note:  Bentley Little has a very limited presence on the internet.  He's one of the few writer's that I have noticed that does not have his own web site.  Odd.  But, to each his own.

Stale Book Review #18: Wouldn't It Be Nice

Wouldn't It Be Nice: My Own Story by Brian Wilson

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 390

Wouldn't It Be Nice is the autobiography of the Beach Boy legend, Brian Wilson.  Admittedly, this book took me an abnormally long time to finish.  I will get to my reasons why this was so in a minute.  However, the book covers the early years with the Beach Boys, as well as some early family stuff, which I'm not normally into but, in Wilson's case is critically important to the story.

So, Brian Wilson is a musical genius.  Totally true.  The man has a gift for harmony and putting together pop tunes that were the absolute shit when my mother was a kid.  However, Brian Wilson is totally fucking nuts, too.  Not "Hey watch him snort a line of ants"-nuts...more like, "Hey, the dude hasn't showered in a few weeks nor has he come out of his house in six months"-nuts.  There is a hug difference.  One is amusing, the other is just sad.

This was easily the saddest book I have ever read.  The mental decline of Wilson brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion.  This, my dear friends, never happens when I read.  Ever.  

Brian Wilson, while I am sure no saint in the eyes of many, is just a tragic figure in pop history.  Albeit homeboy isn't dead yet.  He sure came close, though.  The tragedy of him recounting the successes and meteoric rise of the Beach Boys and then in the same breath reliving his slow descent into madness just made my heart sink.

As far as "music biographies" go, Wouldn't It Be Nice is a good one.  Far heavier than I ever thought it would be, the story is gripping and the characters...well, the characters you should all know by know.  An emotional read, sure.  But, you won't be disappointed in the end.

Here are few random notes after reading:

1.  Brian Wilson was THE reason the Beach Boys were famous.  The others should kiss his nuts whenever they see him.

2.  The Wilson father was a twat.  Greedy, conniving, just a complete douche.

3.  Mike Love came off as another big piece of crap.  Maybe he is or maybe he isn't, but I do like his voice.  However, it's still kind of sad that a 70+ year old man is singing these songs.  But, I guess if Ozzy and the Stones can do it...

4.  Dennis Wilson was friends with the Manson Family.  That is just way too crazy for me.

5.  There was this big hoopla about Wilson's relationship with Dr. Landy.  It was a big part of the book since the man essentially saved Brian's life.  There was also rumor that this book was actually written by Landy and he slapped Wilson's name on it.  That I doubt.  But, the Beach Boys hated this doctor even though he helped their cash cow save himself.  Personally, I didn't find the Dr. Landy thing in the book to be that big of a deal.  Yes, he was important but he wasn't THE story for me.

Cool book.  Very sad but at least it had an uplifting ending.