Stale DVD Review #3: Idiocracy

Idiocracy

Starring: Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph

Running Time:  84Min

Cost: $3.99US

According to my sources on the internets, Idiocracy made just under 500K in worldwide box office sales.  Worldwide.  If I were the analytical type, I would say that the whole project of Idiocracy was a complete flop.  Hell, if you said that to me...I may actually have to cede to the fact that you may have a point.  But if you have seen the movie you would not declare it a flop.

The movie Idiocracy is a warning sign of things to come by director/writer/do-it-all Mike Judge. Yes, this is  the same same Mike Judge that brought us Beavis and Butthead...two slackers that, shit, much of the teenage population resembles.  He also brought us King of the Hill (which is genius in it's own right).  Anyway, I tell you right now that Idiocracy is prophetic.  It'll just take a while to find out.

The premise of the movie starts with Army Corporal Joe volunteering to go into deep hibernation for a government experiment.  Joe is joined in the experiment by Rita, a whore.  So far so good for premises, right!  Anyway, the government scuttles the program quickly after Joe and Rita are put into suspended animation.  Therefore, these two are essentially forgotten about for five hundred years when a gigantic garbage pile collapses and the animation pods of Rita and Joe are cast into the city and opened up.  Little do Joe and Rita know, five hundred years of evolution has not been kind to the world.

Everyone is fucking ridiculously stupid.

Joe ends up in the apartment of Frito (Dax Shepard), who is a lawyer.   Joe gets arrested and has to go to court (which is fucking hilarious).  Frito ends up being his court appointed lawyer and "defends" Joe.  He's accused of "Not being scannable, talking like a fag, and being all retarded" (paraphrased of course).

Frito: [Acting as Joe's public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why'd you do that?

Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not guilty!

Frito: That's not what the other lawyer said.

Anyway, Joe goes to prison and Rita tools around the city as a prostitute.  In prison, Joe is given an aptitude test where it is determined that he is, indeed, the smartest man on the planet.

Word gets to the highest levels of government and after some hilarity with the president himself, Terry Crews as President Camacho, Joe becomes secretary of the interior where he is to solve the biggest problem in the country...plants won't grow and some other shit.

So, Joe (now known as Secretary Not Sure) must solve the riddle of no plants growing.  Turns out, people have been putting a Gatorade-like soft drink (Brawndo) onto their crops.  Apparently, Brawndo has electrolytes and is what plants crave.  Joe is like  "huh" and then suggests that instead of using Brawndo on the crops you use some water (Like from the toilet?).  The premise is so ridiculous but everyone in this movie is so stupid that it just fits.

I seriously could go on and on about this little cult classic.  Only 500K in worldwide sales?  Fuck, that's crazy.  Idiocracy is a very funny movie with so many tiny details that will make you chuckle and so many lines to quote when you are at parties.  Fun times.

Gotta go now, "Ow! My Balls" is on.

Stale DVD Review #2 - Black Snake Moan

Black Snake Moan

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci

Running Time:  115Min

Cost: $12.99US

Haven't done a Stale DVD review here at Stale Reviews in a while.  So, today I offer up Black Snake Moan.

I'm actually not going to give this much of a review since the movie itself is so embedded in sex...and this is a family-friendly blog (actually, it's not).  So, I will give just a cursory review since I did like the movie so much.

Here goes.  Rae (Christina Ricci) is what can only be called a sex addict.  Her boyfriend, Ronnie (Mr. Justin Timberlake) goes off to war.  Rae goes to a party and does her thing...drinking, drugging, humping...and is picked up on the side of the road by Lazarus (Sam Jackson).  He takes her back to his little cabin where he proceeds to chain her up and break her of the Black Snake Moan.  The two eventually become friends and all is happy in the end.  Sort of.

This is a really cool movie and is extremely well shot.  Fans of Samuel Jackson will not be disappointed in his performance...he's great, as usual.

A couple of thoughts from the film:

1.  The music, particularly when Jackson plays in his home, is stupendous.  Some of the best blues I may have ever heard.

2.  Samuel L. Jackson may be the baddest motherfucker to ever live.

3.  We learn that Christina Ricci has a bird tattooed on her breast.  Yes, we see a lot of Christina's titties.

4.  The south is really hot and the people get really sweaty.

That's the Black Snake Moan.  Good movie.  Great cast.  A little raunchy but worth it in the end.

Stale DVD Review #1 - Incubus

Alive At Red Rocks : Incubus
DVD & CD Combo Pack
Cost: $2.95US

Live concert DVD's are one of my true weaknesses.  These are actually some of the types of items that I will actually go out and buy new.  So, when I stumbled across this live one from alterna-rockers Incubus...well, the price was too good.  To be completely forthright here, I haven't really fully enjoyed an entire Incubus album since S.C.I.E.N.C.E. hit the shelves back when I was in college.  Maybe I just enjoyed that one so much because I was always enjoying illicit substances back then.  But, I digress.  That, to me, was just  a complete album.  Sure, they've had good songs since..but, not a complete album.

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by this Alive At Red Rocks disc.  These guys have honed their craft to a point where it seems as if it is effortless for them to put on a decent concert.  The fact that it is at the famous Red Rocks Auditorium helps a bit...that place just looks really cool.  Anyway...here's the setlist and a few notes on the show.  Enjoy!

1.  Megalomaniac
2.  Nice to Know You - Comes across really well on the DVD
3.  Idiot Box
4.  Just a Phase
5.  Priceless
6.  Beware! Criminal
7.  Wish U Were Here - Another well done tune
8.  Here In My Room
9.  Drive - Their most popular song.  Meh.
10.Vitamin
11. Pistola - Great song and awesome on the DVD
12. Stellar
13. Made For TV Movie
14. Talk Shows on Mute
15. Sick, Sad Little World
16. Green - Also known as A Certain Shade of Green.  Which is THE Incubus jam...a highlight.
17. Pantomime
18. The Warmth
19. Pardon Me - As I burst intoooooo flames.  Great song and well done as the set closer.

There was also a little bonus CD that I never listened to.  It's like four live tunes and not really worth putting into the CD player in my car.