Stale Update #1

Hello people.  This is a Stale Update.  Currently, your narrator is deep into three or four books that will be making their way onto the Stale Site.  It's just that with work and all, it takes a few minutes (or hours or days or weeks) to plow through a book.  So, your patience is appreciated and will be rewarded...I promise.

There will be some more Stale Music Reviews coming soon.  Actually, there will probably be a decent little string of them once I find the shoebox that I shoved my last purchase into.  I lost that in the garage somewhere.  But, once I find it...ooh, you'll be in for a treat.

I just wanted everyone to know that I ain't forgot about ya.

Stale Book Review #14 - Gullible's Travels

Gullible's Travels by Cash Peters

Cost: $1.95US

Page Count: 272

Picking up Gullible's Travels, I didn't really know what to expect.  Therefore, I had zero expectations.  Gladly, I must say, that those expectations were exceeded.  Cash Peters is a funny fella.  I had no idea who he was.  But, apparently, Peters has done well for himself by writing and doing other stuff for the BBC.  

I've always been kind of a sucker for a good travel narrative.  They have to be decent travel books, though.  Robert Young Pelton, William Least Heat Moon, and Paul Theroux are a few that do a stupendous job.  Their book, however, are usually less on the humor tip and more on the serious side of the genre.  In Gullible's Travels, Peters explores the humorist side of travel writing.  I liked this.  A lot.

Other reviewers have compared Peters with Bill Bryson.  This is not fair.  Bryson writes well but Peters is far funnier.  And a better writer.  Sorry Bill.

Anyway, in Gullible's Travels Peters takes you everywhere you never thought you wanted to go.  You probably will never go to these place.  Like Salem, MA.  I've been and the author's summation of the city is so much better than anything that I could ever put into print.  There's the Sanitation Museum, the Lizzy Border Bed and Breakfast, Graceland, and the like.  Basically, Peters hits all the sights of a tourist that would make Clark Griswold (from National Lampoon's Vacation) ever so proud.  On the surface, these places would seem to suck so hard.  They probably do.  But, Peters' adept writing skills and humorous style bring these little, shitty, pockets of the world to life.

After reading a book for Stale Reviews, I often throw it in a box to be donated or given away.  Not so with Gullible's Travels.  I will likely read this again sometime.  So, on the shelf it goes.  

Good stuff.  Read it.  I'll let you borrow it if you promise to return promptly!

Stale Book Review #13 - The Tiger Warrior

The Tiger Warrior by David Gibbons

Cost: $2.95US

Page Count: 502

I always finish a book.  Unless...unless it is just awful.  I did not finish The Tiger Warrior.  Not that I have anything against Mr. Gibbons.  It's just that I cannot believe that a publisher would willingly put this book into print.  Maybe they were hoping to ride the strength of Atlantis, a Gibbons book that was moderately decent.  This one...was just...ouch.

Don't waste your money.

David Gibbons.  The Tiger Warrior.

Stale Book Review #12 - Treasure

Treasure by Clive Cussler

Cost: $3.95US

Page Count: 547

I used to respect Clive Cussler very much.  He created a great character, Dirk Pitt, who was a likable, interesting, hard-core fella.  Pitt was a character to create a whole series of books around, which Cussler  did.  Kudos to brotha-man for doing so. 

When Clive stopped writing his own books and having guest authors write them and then slap his name on them, well, then he became less of an author and more of a brand.  This is when I lost respect for Cussler.  But, let's take nothing from those Pitt adventures.  Treasure is one of them.  It's pretty good, too.

Treasure finds us with Dirk Pitt, and old pal Al Giordino, in search of the great treasures of the ancient city of Alexandria.  Of course, in every adventure novel there are the villains.  Treasure has two.  One in Egypt and the other in Mexico, who are simultaneously trying to oust the respective governments and gain control.  All while everyone is in search of the great treasure of Alexandria.  Having two related, yes related, villains makes the story a little bit different than other Cussler novels.  So, he was stretching his wings in this one.

Spoiler alert:  I thought it hilarious that after all the searching, the treasure of Alexandria is found in Texas.  Yes, the Republic of Texas.  Fucking Texans.  

So, another Pitt adventure comes to a close after an explosive ending in which the good guys prevail.  Treasure is a good book.  I am glad that Cussler didn't decide to make this one into a movie with that guy...Matthew MacConaughey.  Like Sahara.  That movie was...well, it was not good.

Stale Music Review #9 - Ozzy Osbourne

Blizzard of Ozz by Ozzy Osbourne

Cost: $0.92US

Song Count: 9

Back in the late 70's, the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, left (got fired) from the seminal metal band, Black Sabbath.  Well, Ozzy floundered a bit on what to do.  He initially started himself a solo band and tried to go it alone.  This fizzled.  Then Sharon, who was then Ozzy's girlfriend, introduced him to guitar virtuoso Randy Rhoads.  So, Ozzy put together another band for a solo effort and churned out the Blizzard of Ozz.

Back in my earlier musical years, this album was the fucking shit.  It's what my mother didn't want me to listen to.  It's what every TV preacher said was going to lead our nation's youth down a path of devil worship.  It's what the president wanted us to say NO to.  Well, I love this album and I do not worship Satan or do drugs (any more).  I'm normal.  I'm responsible.  Ozzy did not corrupt me.  He just led me to ROCK!

Bless Sharon for bringing Ozzy back from the brink and helping him kick start his solo career.  If not for her, the Prince of Darkness would have been found dead in a Chelsea gutter in the early 80's.  So, thank you Sharon!

Here goes the track list and notes.

1.  I Don't Know

2.  Crazy Train - This is probably the song that Ozzy is most known for.  Thirty plus years later and it is still on heavy rotation on rock and classic rock stations.  It's an awesome tune and the listener really gets to experience how good Rhoads actually was on this track.

3.  Goodbye to Romance

4.  Dee

5.  Suicide Solution - Ok.  Ozzy got a LOT of flack for this track.  The US government just had to intervene and said that this song was responsible for kids offing themselves.  Bullshit.  I'm not a big fan of the song but I respect the fact that it has the right to exist on a record.  If a kid is going to kill him/herself, then Suicide Solution will not push them over the edge.  But, it was a big deal back in the day.

6.  Mr. Crowley - This is my favorite song on the album.  I seriously could listen to it fifty times in a row and never grow tired of the song.  Just a super-well-done tune.  

7.  No Bone Movies

8.  Revelation (Mother Earth) - Like this track a bunch, too.  

9.  Steal Away (The Night)

Finding this disc in the super-scratched bin really brightened my day.  I only had Blizzard of Ozz on tape back when I was a heavy listener.  That tape has been both rendered obsolete by current technology and lost.  

Remember tapes?  Do ya?  Waiting with your finger poised above the "record" button just waiting for your song to come on?  Then getting a DJ talking over the first thirty seconds of "Hot For Teacher"...fucking DJ's.  But, I digress.

Stale Book Review #11 - Roadside Crosses

Roadside Crosses by Jeffery Deaver

Cost: $6.98US

Page Count: 397

Roadside Crosses is one of the many Kathryn Dance novels that Deaver has created.  Unlike his Lincoln Rhyme, Dance is not a quadriplegic.  Nope, she's bipedal but she's also agent in the California Bureau of Investigation (which does exist...I looked it up).  These Dance novels may not be as fun as the Rhyme novels, but they are still pretty good.  Call me sexist, but I don't normally gravitate towards fiction with a female protagonist.  I usually can't relate as well with the chicks, ya know?

Anyway, in Roadside Crosses, Dance and her team are on the hunt for a killer that is leaving roadside memorials for people who he is going to kill.  Normally, these roadside memorials are left AFTER someone crashes their car and loses their life.  No, this killer is clever.  Leaving them for people who are GOING to die.  Pretty cool concept, I thought.

Meanwhile, during the investigation this fella is writing on his blog about the killings and the killer and the like.  Dance is pissed with his (the name is Chilton) involvement and feels there should be some sort of accountability on his part.  Look at Deaver, being all...current events, and such.  

The investigation leads to a kid named Travis.  Travis is a big online game player...first person shooters (there ain't nothin' wrong with those!) and had some sick hero worship thing going on for the Columbine shooters.  So, Dance and her team focus their efforts on bringing Travis down.  But guess what?  It ain't him!  Sorry for that spoiler.  The reveal of the real killer is still pretty good.

So, Roadside Crosses isn't on par with Sense and Sensibility or David Copperfield or The Old Man and The Sea but it's still a good read.  Deaver does a good job with creating likable and relatable characters.  This guy feels that is the key to a good novel.  Deaver does what Steve Berry could never do.  

That is all.  Buy the book.  It'll take you a nice long weekend to start and then finish.

Happy New Year

Hey everyone.  Happy new year.  Just thought I'd throw that one out there.  Wanted to show you all the love.

2013 = Billions (not billions) of Stale Reviews!

Thanks for reading...