Stale Book Review #40: The Millionaires

The Millionaires by Brad Meltzer

Cost: $5.99US

Page Count: 481

The Millionaires was Meltzer's third or fourth book that he had published.  It's not a bad effort in any respect.  However, it's really not all that memorable.  For example, I read the book a little over a month ago.  I had wanted to get a few books under my belt before I hit the Stale Review blog here and busted out a bunch of content at one time.  This happens sometimes.  Anyway, what I remember about The Millionaires is minuscule.

Jeebus, I don't even remember the two protagonists names.  I know they are brothers but the names escape me.  That's pretty bad.  Is one named Jeebus, by any chance?

So, I will write this with little memory of exact details.  Shit, this should be fun.  Well, at least for me.  You poor readers will just kind of be left in the dark.

Anyway, these two brothers are working at a bank.  One's a hotshot, up-and-coming account manager destined to do great things.  The other is a fuck-up.  Even though the two bro's have a slightly contentious relationship, they seem to get it together long enough to swipe hundreds of millions of dollars from the bank's "dead letter file".  People that die, no heirs, money has to go somewhere...etc. The brother's say "hey, we should take this cash...it's like 3 million bucks".  It turns out to be 300 million and the then a whole bunch of idiots get involved.  This means the government.

By the way, the let's steal a little bit of money and it turns out to actually be a whole lot was a giant premise of the movie Office Space.

So, the government starts on the trail of the thieves.  The brother's are, shockingly (emits sarcasm), double-crossed and end up being exonerated for their crimes because the theft turns out to be part of a much bigger conspiracy.

Actually, I don't quite remember the end of the book.  See?  Not memorable.  I know the brothers don't go to jail.  I also know they don't become stinking rich, either.  So, let's run off the assumption that they get away but have to give the money back.

Seriously, folks, just skip The Millionaires.  You won't remember what you read a month later.  Skip it.  Sorry, Meltzer, this wasn't one of your best.

Stale Book Review #20: The Zero Game

The Zero Game by Brad Meltzer

Cost: $0.90US

Page Count: 468

I've reviewed Brad Meltzer's books on Stale Reviews before.  In fact, I believe that I have read most of his catalogue.  To be absolutely truthful, I'm growing tired of his subject matter.  They always have the same protagonist with a similar plot line.  It's growing stale for me and I really wish he would mix up his formula a little bit.

Anyway, The Zero Game is just what you would expect from Meltzer.  There's two guys, both of whom have positions within offices on Capital Hill.  Nothing new there, Brad.  One of them presents the other with a game, The Zero Game, that places friendly wagers on legislation, how many pubic hairs a senator has, or any other mundane activity within Congress.  It seems harmless, of course.  That is until one of the two protagonists gets offed within the first forty pages.  Killing off a main character fairly early in the book is actually something new.  I liked it.

So, there is some betrayal.  There are some hair-raising chases.  There is a diabolical killer with a weird weapon of choice. The Zero Game is pure Meltzer.  Really, no one else could have written this book and no one reading would mistake it as anything but a Brad story.  

The Zero Game is kinda lame.  But, it's a super easy read and if you have the reading ability of a fourth grader you can knock this thing out in a day or two.  It might be the literary equivalent of an Everybody Loves Raymond Episode.  

Spoiler alert:  The good guys come out on top.