Stale Single #3: Blind

Song:  Blind
Artist:  Korn
Album:  MTV Unplugged
Year:  2007

Blame Korn all you want for that nu-metal eruption that happened early in the 2000's.  It's not Korn's fault that we had to deal with Limp Bizkit and their kind.  No, if you want to place blame…well, blame Rage Against the Machine.  It's their fault.

Korn emerged from that sludge back in the day and turned out to be the best of the lot.  Sure, Jonathan Davis is a little bit into himself, or maybe he's such an introvert that he comes off irritating.  Whatever.  The band turned out some really good albums (and a few duds…thank you drugs).

Anyway, Korn got the invite in 2007 to record unplugged for MTV.  Remember when MTV used to play music?  Yeah.  MTV Unplugged is where we found out that Pearl Jam was legit and Nirvana was not just noise…talented fuckers.  This unplugged album recorded by Korn did kind of the same thing for me.  I guess I realized they were more than just rockers…they really can play their instruments.  The whole album is great.

Blind is the first song on the album.  The band rips it to shreds, it's so great.  There is just something about rock guitarists picking up acoustic guitars and shredding…it's just so pleasant.  Munky, Fieldy, and Head take a fairly brutal song (from the self-titled album), flip it around, and make it a wonderful listen.

Jonathan's vocals are spot on, too.

That opening line is probably one of the best known in metal:  "Aaarrreee you READY!".

Stale Book Review #45: Scavenger

Scavenger by David Morrell

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 324

Fucking time capsules.  By the time I got through reading Scavenger, I had heard enough about time capsules.  The antagonist in this book was obsessed with them.  Which is nerdy, I suppose.  Anyway, let's look at the book, shall we?

Scavenger starts off strange.  Well, not really "strange".  But, it's as if we are thrown right into the middle of something without having been given much background knowledge.  Just struck me as a little strange but I guess Morrell used it as a literary device.  It's not that I didn't like it…

We start with out two main characters:  Frank and Amanda.  After the two attend a lecture about time capsules, Frank passes out and awakens to Amanda being gone.  Turns out, she's been kidnapped and thrown into a twisted scavenger hunt game and, with a small team of others, must solve the riddle in 40 hours.  The game master deftly points out that it takes the average gamer (video games, folks) about 40 hours to finish a well-done game.  (Fuck that, I can do it in 26…amateurs).

So, Amanda and her small group of partners are out in the western wilderness looking for clues, following breadcrumbs, and trying to look for the all important Crypt of Civilization.  There is infighting, adventure, exploration, and death.

Meanwhile, Frank is following his own set of breadcrumbs trying to track down Amanda and bring her to safety.  I actually thought that the Frank plot line (before it converges with Amanda's) was actually really boring.  It's blasphemy, I know.  Frank is the protagonist, right?  We always root for the protagonist, right?

Nah.  Frank's kind of a bitch.

There is a happy ending.  But, before the reuniting of the two lovers there is the reveal of who is the shadowy figure of the Game Master.  Page after page, the Game Master is always behind the scenes, pulling strings, like a sadistic puppet master.  But, when Frank "takes care of him" we see just how sad and pathetic the fucker really is.

That was cool, Morrell.  I dug that Game Master reveal.

Overall, Scavenger was pretty good. I have certainly spent more time and money on lesser books.

Check out David Morrell's site at davidmorrell.net

Stale Book Review #42-44: I, Michael Bennett, Gone, Burn

I, Michael Bennett by James Patterson

Cost: $4.95US

Page Count: Some

When I sat down to write these reviews (3 for 1, right!) I skimmed through some other opinions on the internet and found that…well, just about everyone hates I, Michael Bennett.  Seems a little rough, but to each their own.

There is NOTHING better than a book written by James Patterson to break you of a serious reading slump.  His books are literary popcorn.  Page after page read and gone before you can blink an eye.  I, Michael Bennett is another one of his speed-readers.

I dislike the premise of the Bennett series from the start.  Mainly it had to do with the 10 kids, dead wife, grandfather priest, and hot nanny - thing.  So, I reluctantly picked up I, Michael Bennett and gave it a whirl.  It wasn't too bad.

Let's start at the beginning.  Warning, spoilers abound…because, well, I just don't care about you or your feelings.  So, Michael Bennett, a NYC detective collars a real bad guy, Mexican drug lord Manuel Perrine.  This is apparently a big deal and feather in the cap of Bennett.  Until, things go haywire.

Bennett's good friend gets shot and all hell breaks loose because Perrine really, really does not want to be in jail.

Meanwhile, in Upstate New York, hot nanny has the kids and the priest on a little family summer vacation.  Bennett joins when he can…with the trial going on in the city, it's tough.  So, the family has having a great time in a cabin near a town where tough times have fallen.  Once an idyllic rural town, drugs and gangs have taken over…welcome to America, Mr. Patterson.

Here's the rest:  2 of Bennett's kids get shot because they were trying to get some poontang.  Bennett gets pissed.  Bennett is also working with an old (hot) friend on the Perrine case because she is a DA. Back and forth between vacation and work for Michael.  Drug gangs in Smalltown USA are paid by Perrine's people to get Bennett.  Doesn't work.  Bennett clears the gangs with the help of the local police force and Perrine escapes during his trial.  Then…Bennett and his brood must relocate with the help of the US Marshal Service.  Witness protection, baby!

Since you are getting 3 reviews in 1 these will be quick…Patterson-style.
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Gone by James Patterson

Cost: $2.95US

Page Count: Some

Gone picks up right where I, Michael Bennett leaves off.  The Bennett gang has been moved out to Northern California to a farm. The kids, predictably, both love and hate it.  Hot nanny really loves it as she was raised on a farm.  Priest doesn't give a shit.

But Bennett, HATES it.  No policing to be done.

Perrine has people out to find and kill Bennett because he hates him, of course.  Thus begins a game of hide and seek.  Bennett is homeschooling the family and Gone deals a lot with the dynamics of the family unit.  This was boring to we.  Who cares, really?

A friendly pot farmer nearby is introduced (then killed).  He seems cool.

Perrine's folks finally find Bennett's group and perform a raid while Bennett is gone consulting with the FBI and another hot female.  Kind of predictable.

Anyway, Bennett rushes back to find dead people and no family.  Where are they?  With the kindly pot farmer, of course.  Pot guy has a sweet underground bunker and has everyone safe.  Then…he gets killed trying to save the day.  Who says potheads don't have an industrious streak?

The US then raids Perrine's compound in Mexico and that fucker is killed dead.

The Bennett's can now go back to NYC.  Yay.
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Burn by James Patterson

Cost: $3.95US

Page Count: Some

So, I read these three right in a row.  This is something I hardly ever do and I wish I would have stopped with Gone.  But, no.  Burn was in the bargain bin so I had to keep going.

Anyway, the Bennett's are now back to their old lives in NYC.  Kids are in school. Hot nanny and Bennett are heating things up…a little.  Bennett is back to work.  Sort of.

Bennett has been reassigned and is disappointed.  He has been put with a ragtag community policing division and things couldn't be more dull.

That is until Bennett is asked to consult on some major jewel heists.  This is cool…I like a good jewel heist.  However, this part of the story falls flat.  Bummer.

Now for the cannibalism.

Apparently, there is a section of the upper crust of society that enjoys eating people. Neat.  Bennett and his team get on this case…due mainly to some burned building.  Anyway, Bennett turns his little unit of miscreant cops into a crime fighting machine.  That's nice.

Police work ensues and Bennett and his crew figure it all out.

The end.

Wish I had not have read this one.