Stale Book Review #21: The Closers

The Closers by Michael Connelly

Cost: $1.00US

Page Count: 403

The Closers is yet another Harry Bosch novel in the canon of M. Connelly.  While I normally really enjoy the Bosch novels, this one didn't really stick with me.  Seriously.  I finished it a little over a week ago and am having serious trouble trying to remember much about the book.  So, this review may be a little off kilter.

Harry Bosch had spent three years away from police work.  In The Closers, he returns to work with his old partner Kiz Rider in the unsolved crimes unit.  There is little pressure within the unsolved crimes unit and that doesn't really seem to fit with Bosch and his personality.  Anyway, the two snag an extremely old case and begin to work the case.  Turns out, there are some big wigs in the police force that were involved over twenty years ago on this case.

So, Bosch and Rider have to navigate some shitty police politics while still trying to solve the case.  Without giving much away, shit hits the fan and some big time officials get their asses in hot water.  Which, for Connelly, is fairly par for the course.

In The Closers, Michael Connelly didn't really break much new ground.  In fact, he may have written his most forgettable novel.  Which is a bummer because Connelly is a fairly talented writer and Harry Bosch is a haunted and interesting character.

This book...well, I can't tell you if it was good or bad.  It just was...there to be read.

Stale Book Review #20: The Zero Game

The Zero Game by Brad Meltzer

Cost: $0.90US

Page Count: 468

I've reviewed Brad Meltzer's books on Stale Reviews before.  In fact, I believe that I have read most of his catalogue.  To be absolutely truthful, I'm growing tired of his subject matter.  They always have the same protagonist with a similar plot line.  It's growing stale for me and I really wish he would mix up his formula a little bit.

Anyway, The Zero Game is just what you would expect from Meltzer.  There's two guys, both of whom have positions within offices on Capital Hill.  Nothing new there, Brad.  One of them presents the other with a game, The Zero Game, that places friendly wagers on legislation, how many pubic hairs a senator has, or any other mundane activity within Congress.  It seems harmless, of course.  That is until one of the two protagonists gets offed within the first forty pages.  Killing off a main character fairly early in the book is actually something new.  I liked it.

So, there is some betrayal.  There are some hair-raising chases.  There is a diabolical killer with a weird weapon of choice. The Zero Game is pure Meltzer.  Really, no one else could have written this book and no one reading would mistake it as anything but a Brad story.  

The Zero Game is kinda lame.  But, it's a super easy read and if you have the reading ability of a fourth grader you can knock this thing out in a day or two.  It might be the literary equivalent of an Everybody Loves Raymond Episode.  

Spoiler alert:  The good guys come out on top.  

Stale Book Review #19: The Resort

The Resort by Bentley Little

Cost: $0.50US

Page Count: 310

Oh Bentley Little.  You are forever a sick fuck.  Every single one of his books, that I have read anyway, have ended up being a mind bender and twisted in the most extreme of ways.  The Resort was no different.

Tucked away in the Arizona desert lays the Reata.  The Reata seems a typical five star resort where the rich and famous go to relax their cares away during the nicer months of the desert.  However, in the depths of the summer when temperatures soar, The Reata cuts their rates dramatically, giving normal folk a chance at some luxury.  That's exactly why Lowell Thurman and his family decided to take their family vacation in the desert.

In typical B. Little tradition, the resort is not what it seems.  There are ghosts, and phantoms, and visions, and a myriad of other fucked up situations that arise.  The Thurmans' sons get caught up in the whole mess and try to do a little Scooby Doo investigating.  Needless to say, their investigations do not turn out well.  There is no old caretaker hiding under a sheet spooking the guests like in the cartoon.  Nope, this is some real deal shit going on down at the Reata.

This book...it's messed up.  But, in a good way.  Bentley Little can write a page turner and I plowed through this one a day or so.  Not exactly Tolstoy.  However, you won't be disappointed when you put down The Resort.  

Good book.  Fun times.  Just a little twisted.

On a side note:  Bentley Little has a very limited presence on the internet.  He's one of the few writer's that I have noticed that does not have his own web site.  Odd.  But, to each his own.

Stale Book Review #18: Wouldn't It Be Nice

Wouldn't It Be Nice: My Own Story by Brian Wilson

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 390

Wouldn't It Be Nice is the autobiography of the Beach Boy legend, Brian Wilson.  Admittedly, this book took me an abnormally long time to finish.  I will get to my reasons why this was so in a minute.  However, the book covers the early years with the Beach Boys, as well as some early family stuff, which I'm not normally into but, in Wilson's case is critically important to the story.

So, Brian Wilson is a musical genius.  Totally true.  The man has a gift for harmony and putting together pop tunes that were the absolute shit when my mother was a kid.  However, Brian Wilson is totally fucking nuts, too.  Not "Hey watch him snort a line of ants"-nuts...more like, "Hey, the dude hasn't showered in a few weeks nor has he come out of his house in six months"-nuts.  There is a hug difference.  One is amusing, the other is just sad.

This was easily the saddest book I have ever read.  The mental decline of Wilson brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion.  This, my dear friends, never happens when I read.  Ever.  

Brian Wilson, while I am sure no saint in the eyes of many, is just a tragic figure in pop history.  Albeit homeboy isn't dead yet.  He sure came close, though.  The tragedy of him recounting the successes and meteoric rise of the Beach Boys and then in the same breath reliving his slow descent into madness just made my heart sink.

As far as "music biographies" go, Wouldn't It Be Nice is a good one.  Far heavier than I ever thought it would be, the story is gripping and the characters...well, the characters you should all know by know.  An emotional read, sure.  But, you won't be disappointed in the end.

Here are few random notes after reading:

1.  Brian Wilson was THE reason the Beach Boys were famous.  The others should kiss his nuts whenever they see him.

2.  The Wilson father was a twat.  Greedy, conniving, just a complete douche.

3.  Mike Love came off as another big piece of crap.  Maybe he is or maybe he isn't, but I do like his voice.  However, it's still kind of sad that a 70+ year old man is singing these songs.  But, I guess if Ozzy and the Stones can do it...

4.  Dennis Wilson was friends with the Manson Family.  That is just way too crazy for me.

5.  There was this big hoopla about Wilson's relationship with Dr. Landy.  It was a big part of the book since the man essentially saved Brian's life.  There was also rumor that this book was actually written by Landy and he slapped Wilson's name on it.  That I doubt.  But, the Beach Boys hated this doctor even though he helped their cash cow save himself.  Personally, I didn't find the Dr. Landy thing in the book to be that big of a deal.  Yes, he was important but he wasn't THE story for me.

Cool book.  Very sad but at least it had an uplifting ending.

Stale Update #2

It's been a while, dear readers.

I can't say that this particular blog hasn't been far from my mind.  It has.  I think about adding to it frequently.  However, it takes a lot of time to sit and read a book and work and do stuff around the house and be totally fucking awesome.  It takes work.

But, we are back with a whole new batch of books that have been plowed through.  I must admit, recently I have been on a reading kick about musicians.  So, expect a bunch of music biography reviews.  As I type this, I have a massive collection of music-related biographies.  They interest me, what can I say?

Anyway, we are back.  We've been reading so that you may check out what I think about certain books.

The bargain bin has been kind with its bounty.  Now, I will share more with you...

All the best!

Stale Book Review #17: Riders On The Storm

Riders On The Storm by John Densmore

Cost: $3.00US

Page Count: 319

Riders On The Storm by the venerable drummer of the rock band The Doors was a refreshing read.  For once, a rock star didn't recount his inability to kick drugs and speak of his ever-so-public fall from fame.  Nope, this was a straight up biopic on the life of Densmore, his career with The Lizard King, and his frustrations in working with such an unstable human (Morrison).

The book is Densmore's account of the band and how frustrations grew within the band because of their troubled lead singer, Jim Morrison.  Unlike No One Gets Out of Here Alive, another book on The Doors, Riders On The Storm is full of flashbacks, flash-forwards, and the narrative is continuously interspersed with a long, heart-felt letter to Morrison.  The effect is kind of trippy and fun.  Sure, at times the overuse of these literary devices bogs the narrative down.  But, at least Densmore is trying something different than what is usually put forth in these music biographies.  Give him props for that.

Riders On The Storm was a great book for a weekend read.  As with most of the books within the genre, it helps if you are or were a fan of the band.  But, with this one...well, it's just pretty good.  So, I don't even feel like you need to be a fan of the band to get some enjoyment from the book.

Through Densmore, you really get a feel of what the other members of The Doors were like during that time period.  Here's kind of a run down of those personalities:

Densmore (Drums):  Fun, lively, creative, and always ready for a new challenge.

Krieger (Guitar):  Talented, quiet, reserved, yet still ambitious.

Manzarek (Keyboard):  Driven, reserved, talented, and exceptionally normal.

Morrison (Vocals):  Fucked-up and confused, genius lyricist.

A little more on Morrison.  Not too much, though, since so many books and articles have been written about the man.  Anyway, it struck me as how naive and "soft" Morrison came off during the early stages of his career.  It was hard for me to read about his decline in mental state and about his inability to separate Jim the performer from Jim the philosopher-dude.  You hate to see that sort of mental decline.  But, there is a fine line between genius and insanity.  A fine line, indeed.

Anyway, Densmore created himself a pretty decent little book.  No, it's not in the same literary vein as Flannery O'Connor or Hemingway, but, it's still pretty fucking good.

Check it out.

Stale Book Review #16: Nobody Likes You

Nobody Likes You by Marc Spitz

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 182

Well, we're back here at Stale Reviews.  It's been a long time and there has been some serious reading going on here around the household.  So, there will be a multitudinous splatter of reviews right off the jump.  Hope you are ready.

Nobody Likes You: Inside The Turbulent Life, Times, and Music of Green Day turned out to be a really short and really quick read.  As a fan of the band, it is sad for me to say that there is little in the way of new information revealed within the pages of this text.  The reason it is sad is that I was looking for new insights, something different, anything that would urge me to push forward in my research on the band.  Nope.  The book reads like rehashed Spin articles mixed with a few interviews with some of the folks from the Gilman St. scene.

The added interviews, with the likes of Tim Armstrong, Jessie Michaels of Op Ivy, and Fat Mike, were what kept this relatively uninteresting piece of "literature" moving.  As someone who grew up on this type of music, these were the guys in the punk scene who I looked up to.  Seeing their insights were the highlights of the book.

Thankfully, Spitz didn't go too far into the childhood activities of each of the members of Green Day.  Many biographers will go so far deep into the past of the artist that the text just completely loses interest for me.  Spitz didn't do that.  He gave just enough info and then moved on.

The book itself is lighthearted even if the author didn't mean it to be.  To me, it was the literary equivalent of a VH1 Behind the Music episode.  Quick, to the point...kind of senseless.

For less than a buck, though, this was one worth reading.  That is, if you are a fan of Green Day.  If you are not a fan and view Green Day as your father's or older brother's punk band, move along.  

Stale Book Review #15 - In Search Of Captain Zero

In Search of Captain Zero by Allan C. Weisbecker

Cost: $3.00US

Page Count: 328

I love me a good travel narrative.  In Search of Captain Zero involves friendship, surfing, a beat up travel vehicle, and a good storyteller.  It has all the elements to make up a travel narrative that is worthy of coveted space on the bookshelf.

In Search of Captain Zero is the recounting of the travels by the author throughout central America in search of his friend, Christopher, who has seemingly fallen off the face of the planet.  Christopher had always been a free-spirit whom the author suspects has gotten lost on purpose.  So, he packs up the beat up van and his surfboards and heads south from the states to find his friend.  The stories of his journey are well told, humorous, and pretty vivid.  The first few hundred pages of the book are a great read.  Weisbecker does quite well in painting verbal pictures that are extremely well done.  Then...well, then you get to the end.

There is a spoiler in here, so you have been warned.  Anyway, after a long ass time of searching, Allen finds his buddy Chris.  Here's where I was completely deflated.  Over the course of the narrative, Allen reveals his friend to be a caring, free-spirited, soul-surfer type guy.  The first three quarters of the book had me really looking forward to the eventual meeting.  Well, do we ever meet Chris.  He is, to the relief of the author, still alive.  But...but...he's hooked on CRACK!  What the fuck?  I was so disappointed to know that the guy we had been searching for throughout the entire book was a fucking scumbag crackhead.  I was gut-punched.  I can only imagine what the author had felt when he discovered this elegant fact about his friend.  The ending of this book was such a downer.  I like happy endings, not cracky endings.  This still pisses me off.

But, overall, I think In Search of Captain Zero is worth a read.  It does exactly what a good book should do: elicit an emotion.  That it did.  That emotion was pissed-offed-ness.  I'm pretty sure that's not a real word...but, it should be.

Read the book.  Get mad.  Fuck Christopher, you crackhead.

Stale Update #1

Hello people.  This is a Stale Update.  Currently, your narrator is deep into three or four books that will be making their way onto the Stale Site.  It's just that with work and all, it takes a few minutes (or hours or days or weeks) to plow through a book.  So, your patience is appreciated and will be rewarded...I promise.

There will be some more Stale Music Reviews coming soon.  Actually, there will probably be a decent little string of them once I find the shoebox that I shoved my last purchase into.  I lost that in the garage somewhere.  But, once I find it...ooh, you'll be in for a treat.

I just wanted everyone to know that I ain't forgot about ya.

Stale Book Review #14 - Gullible's Travels

Gullible's Travels by Cash Peters

Cost: $1.95US

Page Count: 272

Picking up Gullible's Travels, I didn't really know what to expect.  Therefore, I had zero expectations.  Gladly, I must say, that those expectations were exceeded.  Cash Peters is a funny fella.  I had no idea who he was.  But, apparently, Peters has done well for himself by writing and doing other stuff for the BBC.  

I've always been kind of a sucker for a good travel narrative.  They have to be decent travel books, though.  Robert Young Pelton, William Least Heat Moon, and Paul Theroux are a few that do a stupendous job.  Their book, however, are usually less on the humor tip and more on the serious side of the genre.  In Gullible's Travels, Peters explores the humorist side of travel writing.  I liked this.  A lot.

Other reviewers have compared Peters with Bill Bryson.  This is not fair.  Bryson writes well but Peters is far funnier.  And a better writer.  Sorry Bill.

Anyway, in Gullible's Travels Peters takes you everywhere you never thought you wanted to go.  You probably will never go to these place.  Like Salem, MA.  I've been and the author's summation of the city is so much better than anything that I could ever put into print.  There's the Sanitation Museum, the Lizzy Border Bed and Breakfast, Graceland, and the like.  Basically, Peters hits all the sights of a tourist that would make Clark Griswold (from National Lampoon's Vacation) ever so proud.  On the surface, these places would seem to suck so hard.  They probably do.  But, Peters' adept writing skills and humorous style bring these little, shitty, pockets of the world to life.

After reading a book for Stale Reviews, I often throw it in a box to be donated or given away.  Not so with Gullible's Travels.  I will likely read this again sometime.  So, on the shelf it goes.  

Good stuff.  Read it.  I'll let you borrow it if you promise to return promptly!

Stale Book Review #13 - The Tiger Warrior

The Tiger Warrior by David Gibbons

Cost: $2.95US

Page Count: 502

I always finish a book.  Unless...unless it is just awful.  I did not finish The Tiger Warrior.  Not that I have anything against Mr. Gibbons.  It's just that I cannot believe that a publisher would willingly put this book into print.  Maybe they were hoping to ride the strength of Atlantis, a Gibbons book that was moderately decent.  This one...was just...ouch.

Don't waste your money.

David Gibbons.  The Tiger Warrior.

Stale Book Review #12 - Treasure

Treasure by Clive Cussler

Cost: $3.95US

Page Count: 547

I used to respect Clive Cussler very much.  He created a great character, Dirk Pitt, who was a likable, interesting, hard-core fella.  Pitt was a character to create a whole series of books around, which Cussler  did.  Kudos to brotha-man for doing so. 

When Clive stopped writing his own books and having guest authors write them and then slap his name on them, well, then he became less of an author and more of a brand.  This is when I lost respect for Cussler.  But, let's take nothing from those Pitt adventures.  Treasure is one of them.  It's pretty good, too.

Treasure finds us with Dirk Pitt, and old pal Al Giordino, in search of the great treasures of the ancient city of Alexandria.  Of course, in every adventure novel there are the villains.  Treasure has two.  One in Egypt and the other in Mexico, who are simultaneously trying to oust the respective governments and gain control.  All while everyone is in search of the great treasure of Alexandria.  Having two related, yes related, villains makes the story a little bit different than other Cussler novels.  So, he was stretching his wings in this one.

Spoiler alert:  I thought it hilarious that after all the searching, the treasure of Alexandria is found in Texas.  Yes, the Republic of Texas.  Fucking Texans.  

So, another Pitt adventure comes to a close after an explosive ending in which the good guys prevail.  Treasure is a good book.  I am glad that Cussler didn't decide to make this one into a movie with that guy...Matthew MacConaughey.  Like Sahara.  That movie was...well, it was not good.

Stale Music Review #9 - Ozzy Osbourne

Blizzard of Ozz by Ozzy Osbourne

Cost: $0.92US

Song Count: 9

Back in the late 70's, the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, left (got fired) from the seminal metal band, Black Sabbath.  Well, Ozzy floundered a bit on what to do.  He initially started himself a solo band and tried to go it alone.  This fizzled.  Then Sharon, who was then Ozzy's girlfriend, introduced him to guitar virtuoso Randy Rhoads.  So, Ozzy put together another band for a solo effort and churned out the Blizzard of Ozz.

Back in my earlier musical years, this album was the fucking shit.  It's what my mother didn't want me to listen to.  It's what every TV preacher said was going to lead our nation's youth down a path of devil worship.  It's what the president wanted us to say NO to.  Well, I love this album and I do not worship Satan or do drugs (any more).  I'm normal.  I'm responsible.  Ozzy did not corrupt me.  He just led me to ROCK!

Bless Sharon for bringing Ozzy back from the brink and helping him kick start his solo career.  If not for her, the Prince of Darkness would have been found dead in a Chelsea gutter in the early 80's.  So, thank you Sharon!

Here goes the track list and notes.

1.  I Don't Know

2.  Crazy Train - This is probably the song that Ozzy is most known for.  Thirty plus years later and it is still on heavy rotation on rock and classic rock stations.  It's an awesome tune and the listener really gets to experience how good Rhoads actually was on this track.

3.  Goodbye to Romance

4.  Dee

5.  Suicide Solution - Ok.  Ozzy got a LOT of flack for this track.  The US government just had to intervene and said that this song was responsible for kids offing themselves.  Bullshit.  I'm not a big fan of the song but I respect the fact that it has the right to exist on a record.  If a kid is going to kill him/herself, then Suicide Solution will not push them over the edge.  But, it was a big deal back in the day.

6.  Mr. Crowley - This is my favorite song on the album.  I seriously could listen to it fifty times in a row and never grow tired of the song.  Just a super-well-done tune.  

7.  No Bone Movies

8.  Revelation (Mother Earth) - Like this track a bunch, too.  

9.  Steal Away (The Night)

Finding this disc in the super-scratched bin really brightened my day.  I only had Blizzard of Ozz on tape back when I was a heavy listener.  That tape has been both rendered obsolete by current technology and lost.  

Remember tapes?  Do ya?  Waiting with your finger poised above the "record" button just waiting for your song to come on?  Then getting a DJ talking over the first thirty seconds of "Hot For Teacher"...fucking DJ's.  But, I digress.

Stale Book Review #11 - Roadside Crosses

Roadside Crosses by Jeffery Deaver

Cost: $6.98US

Page Count: 397

Roadside Crosses is one of the many Kathryn Dance novels that Deaver has created.  Unlike his Lincoln Rhyme, Dance is not a quadriplegic.  Nope, she's bipedal but she's also agent in the California Bureau of Investigation (which does exist...I looked it up).  These Dance novels may not be as fun as the Rhyme novels, but they are still pretty good.  Call me sexist, but I don't normally gravitate towards fiction with a female protagonist.  I usually can't relate as well with the chicks, ya know?

Anyway, in Roadside Crosses, Dance and her team are on the hunt for a killer that is leaving roadside memorials for people who he is going to kill.  Normally, these roadside memorials are left AFTER someone crashes their car and loses their life.  No, this killer is clever.  Leaving them for people who are GOING to die.  Pretty cool concept, I thought.

Meanwhile, during the investigation this fella is writing on his blog about the killings and the killer and the like.  Dance is pissed with his (the name is Chilton) involvement and feels there should be some sort of accountability on his part.  Look at Deaver, being all...current events, and such.  

The investigation leads to a kid named Travis.  Travis is a big online game player...first person shooters (there ain't nothin' wrong with those!) and had some sick hero worship thing going on for the Columbine shooters.  So, Dance and her team focus their efforts on bringing Travis down.  But guess what?  It ain't him!  Sorry for that spoiler.  The reveal of the real killer is still pretty good.

So, Roadside Crosses isn't on par with Sense and Sensibility or David Copperfield or The Old Man and The Sea but it's still a good read.  Deaver does a good job with creating likable and relatable characters.  This guy feels that is the key to a good novel.  Deaver does what Steve Berry could never do.  

That is all.  Buy the book.  It'll take you a nice long weekend to start and then finish.

Happy New Year

Hey everyone.  Happy new year.  Just thought I'd throw that one out there.  Wanted to show you all the love.

2013 = Billions (not billions) of Stale Reviews!

Thanks for reading...