Stale Music Review #12: Beastie Boys

Paul's Boutique by Beastie Boys

Cost: $7.99US

Song Count: 15

"Is Your Name Michael Diamond?"

"Nawww, mine's Clarence"

- Shake Your Rump

As I get older, I am beginning to realize the importance that music has on a person's history.  There are certain albums that are virtual fucking time machines.  Paul's Boutique is one of those albums for me.  It just takes me back to...

Let's paint a picture.  In my early days of college at the University of South Florida (go Bulls), I went to class...sometimes.  But, most of the time was spent getting loaded, trying to find chicks to "hang out" with, and listening to Paul's Boutique.  On repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  There are two years of college that I only vaguely remember.  Mike D, MCA (RIP, brother), and AdRock were the soundtrack to those years.

I wanted to be the 4th Beastie Boy.  I had a huge (like 3'x5') poster of the Check Your Head album cover hanging over my bed.  Those guys were kindred spirits, for sure.

But, I digress...

The Beastie's first album, Licensed to Ill, was a smash but I always thought it was a little too jokey for me.  Like a bunch of frat boys trying too hard...but, don't get me wrong, Licensed to Ill is still pretty rad and just about everyone in my high school had this album.  So, it was popular.  Then...well, the Beastie's dropped off the scene for a while.

Then Paul's Boutique happened.  When it came out it didn't sell billions of units and was roundly ignored among fans.  It took people many years to realize just what this album actually is.  For a long time it was viewed as the album sandwiched between the smash hits of Licensed to Ill and Check Your Head.  The bastard cousin of the catalog, if you will.

Hell, I had the album for over a year before it really (and I mean REALLY) got into my blood.  So, I understand the thinking of the populace of the time.

Track List and Notes

1.  To All the Girls:  Not much to the tune.  Just a little taste that kicks right into...
2.  Shake Your Rump:  Holy shit.  This track is the fucking best.  So many quotable lines in the song, it flows so well, and the sampling is genius.
3.  Johnny Ryall:  Great lyrical interplay between the 3 Beastie's
4.  Egg Man:  Fantastic use of a sample from "Superfly" by Curtis Mayfield.  This particular song had samples from 12 different tunes.  This album simply could not be made today.
5.  High Plains Drifter:  My least favorite tune on the album.  And I STILL love it!
6.  The Sounds of Science:  This songs builds.  A slow rhyme into a fucking rapid fire rhyme.  Fuck, I love this song.  Used to play this song on repeat, repeatedly.  "I smell weed cuz y'all keep packin; it",
7.  3-minute Rule:  This stands out as a lot of Mike D...but, MCA is great on this track, too.  A little slower paced than the rest of the album.
8.  Hey Ladies:  The most recognizable and played track off the album.  15 samples on this one.  It's a super-fun song and a classic.  Hey Ladies!...Get funkaay.
9.  5-Piece Chicken Dinner:  I have a friend who used to crank this track in the dorm and put it on repeat.  Then he would go to class.  People would be so fucking pissed.  It's just a pseudo-country instrumental track...if I lived near him I would go insane.
10.  Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun:  Son of a gun, son of a bitch...gettin' paid, gettin' rich.  Kind of a rockin' track.
11.  Car Thief:  This track is so much fun.  It's almost like the Boys were totally stoned when they recorded this one.  Ummm...I'm pretty sure they were.
12.  What Comes Around:  This song has some serious groove.
13.  Shadrach:  This is likely my favorite song on the album.  It kicks in with some serious MCA rhyme...the whole tune is so fucking well crafted.
14.  Ask for Janice:  Answering machine, yo.  Remember, ask for Janice.
15.  B-Boy Bouillabaisse:  The closer is a mammoth track.  At over 12 minutes long it has so many samples.  Just wow.  Broken into 'suites' in the mold of many classical composers there is some serious depth to this song.

The Dust Brothers really broke the mold with Paul's Boutique.  This album could not be made today.  But, in 1989 the country was far less litigious than it is now (at least the record industry) and the Beastie Boys were able to sample hundreds of extremely popular tunes and mix them into their own blender.

Obviously, I cannot say enough good things about this album.  So, at this point I will quit, let you run to your Youtube or radio or CD collection or iTunes and listen to this absolute classic.

Take an old classic for a spin, yo!

How 'Bout A Shout-Out?

Old School Record Review

oldschoolrecordreview.com

I started talking to the Old School Review guys on Twitter last week.  Those are some stand up fellas over there.  The web-site is pretty killer, too.  Check out the link at the top.

They even do a podcast.  That's bitchin'.  

Maybe I should do a podcast.  Hell, maybe I should just go ahead and just plagiarize everything that the Old School guys are doing!

Seriously, though.  Check them out and show them the love!

Stale Music Review #11: Bad Religion

Recipe For Hate by Bad Religion

Cost: $5.99US

Song Count: 14

Recipe For Hate is not a perfect record.  But, I feel like it doesn't get the respect that it should.  Bad Religion's Suffer, Against the Grain, and Generator get more love...and maybe those albums should get more love but don't hate on Recipe, yo.

Now, for me this was before some major players in the Bad Religion lineup (that I think is the greatest) arrived...this was before Brooks Wackerman and Brian Baker arrived on scene.  So, there is a reason that this particular album is a little iffy for most fans.  It seems that this album was recorded during a very strange time in Bad Religion history.  Remember, this album was released during the time where grunge was at it's nexus (1993) so there was stiff competition for listeners at that time.  

But, as with any other musical form, the amount of love for an album rests within the mind of each individual listener.  For me, Recipe for Hate brings back some extremely fond memories and when I'm a little down I let Dr. Graffin and the gang scream in my ear for 30+ minutes.  So, in my eyes Recipe for Hate is a great album.  For others, it might be a little bit...meh.  But, we can all agree to disagree.  If you don't like what I'm saying...well, fuck off.

Here's the track run-down and some notes:

1.  Recipe for Hate:  The title track.  In my opinion, they could've opened the album a little bit stronger.

2.  Kerosene:  Great track.  I really like this song.  "Kerosene...keeps me warm...I'm alone to watch it burn".  Good stuff, man.

3.  American Jesus:  I have seen Bad Religion a couple of times in concert and American Jesus always gets one of the biggest responses of the night.  It's a great track and possibly one of their greatest tunes.  Funny, because it's creation was a collaboration between Graffin/Gurewitz which is rare as each normally writes their own songs.

4.  Portrait of Authority

5.  Man With a Mission:  On this track, the band was experimenting with mixing in some folk elements (which has become a regular thing on recent albums).  It works.

6.  All Good Soldiers:  There is something absolutely off-kilter and slightly just off-center about this song.  But...it's my favorite song on the record.  Because the president believes in god...like all good soldiers should.

7.  Watch it Die

8.  Struck A Nerve:  A slower, more dirge-ish tune.  It's a good song, lyrically.  Just speed it up a little dudes!

9.  My Poor Friend Me

10.  Lookin' In:  Short.  To the point.  Good.

11.  Don't Pray on Me:  Twisting wordplay on the word pray within the lyrics.  Sometimes done deftly; other times done ham-fisted.  I dig this tune, though.

12.  Modern Day Catastrophists:  Just like any other Graffin-penned tune, you may need to consult the thesaurus once or twice.  Fuckin' vocabulary.

13.  Skyscraper:  I fucking love this song.  There are just songs that really bring a person back to a specific time and place.  This one does it for me...the playing, the harmonies...fuck, I just love it.

14.  Stealth

Overall, I would have to give Recipe for Hate a solid B...if I were teaching Punk Rock 101.  It's a really good album that just happens to resonate with this author more than it would with some of you all.  But, that's the power of music, right?

Side note:  I did not realize that Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder sang back up on American Jesus and Watch it Die.  Interesting.

Stale Book Review #34: 12.21

12.21 by Dustin Thomason

Cost: $4.95US

Page Count: 318

With a book about disease, the Mayans, and the end of the world I just could NOT pass this one up.  I'm a sucker for a good conspiracy, legend, myth, tall tale, etc...  Hell, one may even be able to convince me that Bigfoot shot JFK AND MLK from the same balcony in Dallas at the same time through a space-time wormhole or some shit.  I love that kind of stuff.  So, I just knew that 12.21 would be right up my proverbial alley.

Here's what happens in a nutshell...the only spoiler is this:  the world is saved.  There's a Dr. Stanton who is a big shot studying shit for the CDC that I don't understand (I hated science in school).  There's an antiquities and Mayan expert chick named Chel, who is also of full blooded Mayan descent, who given a rare and awesome codex that warns of the coming end.  Cool right?  Anyway, these two connect because Stanton has found a disease that is really fucking things up and Chel has found out what can be done to stop it all.  It's a meeting of the minds, etc...

Also, there is a time crunch because of the old end of the world 12.21.2012 thing that was happening at the time.  In case you missed it:  that date came and went and nothing ever happened.  Just like Y2K.  Remember that?  Dumbest ass world wide freakout ever!

Oh yeah, the US government has basically sealed off southern California so no one can leave.  This sucks because a cure can be found in the mountains of Guatemala.  Guatemala is close to Cali but not "I'm gonna take a stroll on down to old Guatemala"-close.  

In 12.21 the world is saved thanks to these two (and a couple others).

Overall, a fun book for sure.  If you sit down and have nothing better to do, you could knock this thing out in half a day.  In the end, reading this book won't make you feel like you wasted any time.  It's better than many other things I have read recently.

Give it a shot.  I never disappoint...do I?

Stale Book Review #33: High Fidelity

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 322

I have a friend.  She would always tell me "Oh my god you have to read High Fidelity".  I would reply with a quip about how I hated About a Boy and just was not impressed with Hornby as a writer.  She pressed and pressed and finally I gave in and spent the little change I had to buy the book. Then...it sat on my bookshelf for two years.

This past week I picked it up with the full intent to read it all the way through in a weekend.  It's a short book, I could do it.

Before I tell you what I thought, I must tell you a little about my reading habits.  I rarely, so very extremely rarely, abandon a book midway through.  Hell, I read all of Dan Brown's books straight through even though I knew...I just fucking knew...that I should put them down and walk away.  But, nope.  I've read 'em all.

I made it to page 83 in High Fidelity.  I just could...not...make it through.

Holy shit, the protagonist Rob is a whiny little bitch.  Fuck Rob...he's such a pansy-assed, douche-bag, hipster...jeez I just wanted to punch him right in the taint.  Rob is like whiny boy Luke Skywalker (I know I am blaspheming here but Luke was totally a tool in Ep. IV...admit it) but at least the Jedi had a lightsaber, droids, and space travel to rely on to keep him grounded.  Plus, Han Solo pimp slapped Luke to keep him in line.  High Fidelity's Rob...well he could use a pimp slap.

I'm also pretty sure that Rob and the other assholes in the book were hipsters before being a hipster was cool.  So, they might be like the patients-zero of hipster douches.

83 pages.  I have better things to do with my life. 

Sorry if you were expecting a rocking review on this here book.  I really hate to disappoint a reader.  But, apparently Nick Hornby doesn't mind disappointing readers one bit!

Haha!  Fuck you Hornby!

Stale Book Review #32: Disclosure

Disclosure by Michael Crichton

Cost: $0.25US

Page Count: 400

When you find a book for a quarter, well you just gotta pick it up.  So is the case with Disclosure by Michael Crichton.  I had a quarter; I had not read this particular book.  I now have no quarter; I have read this book.  I wish I had my quarter back.

I found Disclosure to be...dated.  Part of my career has been spent dangling my big toe into the world of technology.  I try to stay abreast of what is the next big thing, the emerging technologies if you will.  But, Disclosure...at least when I read it...felt so LAME.  I wonder if Crichton had this in mind when he wrote the book.  I wonder if Crichton (RIP, Michael) even thought "Hey, technology moves at a million miles a minute.  I wonder if my book will hold up in 20 years. Yes, I read this book exactly 20 years after publication.  I will tell you...Crichton did not think this through.  Apparently, Crichton never heard of Moore's Law.

Ok, problems with the technology aside (a Handheld CD player?  No way!  That's like science fiction, dude!) the story is pretty straightforward.  A tech dude, Tom,  is surprised by not getting a promotion and losing it to a hottie who tries to fuck him and he says no.  The chick, Meredith, gets super pissed and accuses him of sexual harassment.  Tom is pissed because he was the one harassed and goes to a lawyer.  Then, all hell breaks loose at the company.

Of course, Crichton would never leave it as a simple he-said she-said novel.  Nope.  Disclosure has that shadowy back area where the company is going through a merger, the owner is very close with the handsy Meredith, there is some virtual reality (which holds up because folks are pushing the envelope with that shit today), there are people who Tom thinks he can trust and those who he knows he can't trust.  Yep, Crichton mixed it up pretty good which made for a bit more interesting story.

I did have one issue:  How the fuck did Tom get all this shit resolved in like four days?  Don't lawsuits and threats and all that bullshit take months and even years?  To me, this was even more unrealistic than the old-ass technologies being proclaimed as wicked awesome.  Of course, I'm just nitpicking.

Disclosure wasn't bad.  It wasn't good either.  It just was.  

Personally, I liked the Jurassic Park books and Crichton's Travels book much, much more than this one.

  

RIP Mr. Crichton

Stale Music Review #10: Lagwagon

Hoss by Lagwagon

Cost: $4.99US

Song Count: 14

Yes, there are other Lagwagon records.  There may even be better Lagwagon records.  But, Hoss was my first and therefore in my eyes reigns supreme.

Where to start with Lagwagon?  They are a SoCal punk rock band that has, at this time, put out ten records on NOFX's Fat Mike's Fat Wreck Chords.  They've turned down offers in the past to join major labels, which often leads to mainstream success, but something within the band had resisted and they've stayed with Fat forever.  

The music itself:  tight, fast, melodic...jeebus they sound like it would feel skateboarding along the ocean in San Diego or something.  They just feel very SoCal.  

On a side note:  Lead singer Joey Cape is an interesting dude.  He has Lagwagon and also takes part in Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (which is a punk rock supergroup that parodies/covers old classic tunes).  He also has put out a couple of folk albums which are very good.  Excellent even.

Here's the track list and the standouts:

1.  Kid's Don't Like to Share

2.  Violins:  Other than E Dagger (on Blaze) and Alien 8 (on Double Plaidinum) this could be in my top 3 Lagwagon tunes.  No, it is in the top 3.  It's good.

3.  Name Dropping

4.  Bombs Away:  Another standout tune on this album.  Tight, fast playing.  Yet, still remains melodic.  I'll tell you...these guys have the melodic punk rock thing down to a motherfucking science.

5.  Move the Car

6.  Sleep:  Great song.  

7.  Sick

8.  Rifle:  I really like this song.  I used to argue with a buddy (when we were both highly inebriated) back in the day about the song Rifle.  He hated it, just despised it.  I, on the other hand, just love the song.  Maybe I like it so much to be contrary...I'm an asshole like that.

9.  Weak

10.  Black Eye:  Yes.  I am not a drummer.  Never claimed to be.  I just cannot coordinate my hands and feet in such a manner.  But, on Black Eye...the drumming is absolutely incredible.  That was drummer Derrick Plourde playing his ass off on this track.  He passed away in 1997 (RIP).

11.  Bro Dependent:  These guys were using the word 'Bro' before it became cool.  Remember, this was 1995.

12.  Razor Burn

13.  Shaving Your Head

14.  Ride the Snake:  A slowish, dirgish track right at the end of the disc.  It's weird and it kind of 'throbs' (if that is a good word).  I think it's a good ending.

Anyway, as far as Lagwagon records go...Hoss is by far my favorite.  As far as punk rock goes, Lagwagon is certainly one of my favorite bands.