Stale Music Review #10: Lagwagon

Hoss by Lagwagon

Cost: $4.99US

Song Count: 14

Yes, there are other Lagwagon records.  There may even be better Lagwagon records.  But, Hoss was my first and therefore in my eyes reigns supreme.

Where to start with Lagwagon?  They are a SoCal punk rock band that has, at this time, put out ten records on NOFX's Fat Mike's Fat Wreck Chords.  They've turned down offers in the past to join major labels, which often leads to mainstream success, but something within the band had resisted and they've stayed with Fat forever.  

The music itself:  tight, fast, melodic...jeebus they sound like it would feel skateboarding along the ocean in San Diego or something.  They just feel very SoCal.  

On a side note:  Lead singer Joey Cape is an interesting dude.  He has Lagwagon and also takes part in Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (which is a punk rock supergroup that parodies/covers old classic tunes).  He also has put out a couple of folk albums which are very good.  Excellent even.

Here's the track list and the standouts:

1.  Kid's Don't Like to Share

2.  Violins:  Other than E Dagger (on Blaze) and Alien 8 (on Double Plaidinum) this could be in my top 3 Lagwagon tunes.  No, it is in the top 3.  It's good.

3.  Name Dropping

4.  Bombs Away:  Another standout tune on this album.  Tight, fast playing.  Yet, still remains melodic.  I'll tell you...these guys have the melodic punk rock thing down to a motherfucking science.

5.  Move the Car

6.  Sleep:  Great song.  

7.  Sick

8.  Rifle:  I really like this song.  I used to argue with a buddy (when we were both highly inebriated) back in the day about the song Rifle.  He hated it, just despised it.  I, on the other hand, just love the song.  Maybe I like it so much to be contrary...I'm an asshole like that.

9.  Weak

10.  Black Eye:  Yes.  I am not a drummer.  Never claimed to be.  I just cannot coordinate my hands and feet in such a manner.  But, on Black Eye...the drumming is absolutely incredible.  That was drummer Derrick Plourde playing his ass off on this track.  He passed away in 1997 (RIP).

11.  Bro Dependent:  These guys were using the word 'Bro' before it became cool.  Remember, this was 1995.

12.  Razor Burn

13.  Shaving Your Head

14.  Ride the Snake:  A slowish, dirgish track right at the end of the disc.  It's weird and it kind of 'throbs' (if that is a good word).  I think it's a good ending.

Anyway, as far as Lagwagon records go...Hoss is by far my favorite.  As far as punk rock goes, Lagwagon is certainly one of my favorite bands.  

Stale Book Review #31: Turned On

Turned On:  A biography of Henry Rollins by James Parker

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 248

Yeah, yeah, I promised no more rock books for a while.  Well...I fuckin lied!

I've had Turned On lying around the house for quite a while now and hadn't ever really gotten around to reading the sucker.  Actually, I had a gift card to Barnes and Noble earlier this year and order a copy.  It came and was autographed by Mr. Parker.  I thought that was cool, so it went on my sizable autographed book bookshelf.  There it sat, unread.  I don't read signed books.  It fucks them up.

Anyway, back to the Rollins story.  After reading Turned On, I have my doubts about whether or not James Parker has actually met Henry.  He may have stated that he had not, don't remember.  But, the whole book just seems like anecdotes and interviews pulled from various sources (old magazines, television appearances, internet sources, etc...).  It's not like there is anything wrong with the book.  I was just hoping for more Henry.  Don't know Henry Rollins?  Let me give you the brief synopsis...Hell, after this you may not need to even read this book!

-  Henry Garfield is from Washington DC and grew up in a time where the DC punk movement was just taking foothold.  He is close friends with Dischord founder and Fugazi/Minor Threat frontman, Ian Mackaye.  The two grew up to become part of the underlying fabric of punk rock in the US:  Minor threat (Mackaye) and Black Flag (Garfield - Rollins).  Anyway, Henry was asked to try out to sing for punk heavyweights Black Flag, got the job, changed his surname to Rollins, and hit the road with the band.  This was trial by fire because Black Flag fans don't fuck around and he spent much time taking abuse.  Things happen with Flag.  Greg Ginn (leader of Black Flag) breaks up the band and Henry is left hanging.  So, he continues with spoken word performances, which he still does to this day, and finally gets the Rollins Band off the ground.  They were completely bad ass.  Loved me some Rollins Band.  His crew blows up after it hits Lollapallooza , MTV, blah blah blah and Henry gets famous with the world...not just punkers.  But, I think the Nirvana explosion had a lot to do with the younger generation looking upon Henry as an elder-statesman of alternative music.  Kurt loved Black Flag, therefore his fans loved Flag...but, I digress.  Since then, Henry has been in movies, on television (a lot), and has written numerous books.  I've read most of them and they are pretty rad.  Sure, Henry Rollins is surly and prickly and intense and driven...but, he's just so darn likable at the same time.

That, my friends is basically a synopsis of Turned On by James Parker.  The interview he did with the fellas from Black Flag and the like (or that he "borrowed" from other sources) are actually pretty good.  I also have to give it to Parker, his writing is fairly decent, too.

So, for seventy five cents...totally worth it.  This will take up space on my Music Biography bookshelf until someone wants to borrow it...or have it.

Check out Henry's books and the like at:   http://henryrollins.com/ 
Check out James Parker at:  http://www.theatlantic.com/james-parker/

Stale Book Review #30: Ministry

Ministry: The Lost Gospels According to Al Jourgensen by Al Jourgensen

Cost: $5.00US

Page Count: 272

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true

Jerry lee Lewis was the devil

Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world

So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

- Jesus Built My Hotrod

Ministry Cover

Al Jourgensen has achieved just about the impossible:  he's written a book that almost matches the insanity of Motely Cure's The Dirt.  Almost...I mean it's a really close race and I would solidly put Ministry: The Lost Gospels firmly in second place all time rock book reads.  Holy shit, it's really good.

Let's get everyone up to speed (pun intended).  Al Jourgensen is pretty much the mastermind behind the industrial metal band (I really don't know how to describe the group) Ministry.  Ministry...for those that really don't know...is an excellent mix of industrial noise, EDM, and metal.  It's so odd but eclectic and extremely well-done at the same time.  However, there are no Beach Boy hooks to grab a listener and give them a big old hug.  Nope, Ministry is all about a dental drill to your eardrum. The beauty of it is...you will like it.

I promise this will be the last rock and roll related biography for quite a while on Stale Reviews.  It's just that they are so dang easy to read and I plowwwww through them like nothing.  But...no more for a while.  Cross my heart.

Al Jourgensen

In Ministry: The Lost Gospels  Jourgensen holds zero punches and relives what he can remember about  the drug-addled '90's.  Let me break it down:  people in the rock world were getting fucked up.  Al was fueled on heroin and pot and cocaine and alcohol and speed and, well you name it and Jourgensen was using it and then producing and extremely intense brand of music.  The music of Ministry is probably the most intense and anxiety-inducing that I have ever heard.  That is what makes it great.  But, Al went through Hell to be able to create Ministry's sound.  

What is most interesting is Jourgensen's view on the music world:  he hates it because it's so fucked.  For example, Al has Ministry which has won awards, accolades, and is renowned worldwide for being a pioneer in industrial music.  Al equates Ministry with a job.  That was interesting to read.  Ministry, to Al Jourgensen is a 9-5 with all the pressures involved and that shit gives him ulcers.  That can't be any fun.  On the other hand, his side band The Revolting Cocks is one in which he loves.  Al loves RevCo because there is no pressure and it's fun.  The Revolting Cocks is a hilarious band...but, they're really fucking good, too.  The dude is pretty much a musical genius.  Just a twisted one.

Your mother will hate that you read this book. Your mother will hate that you listen to Ministry. 

So, yeah, mama probably don't want to read about how Al was shitting and pissing and throwing up blood because of extreme drug and alcohol abuse over the years.  Mama probably don't want to hear about Al and Courtney Love shooting up together and the disdain that Al has for so many in the music industry.  Tu Madre most likely doesn't want to hear about Al's escapades with Jello Biafra, Tim Leary, and Gibby Haynes.  For the record, Gibby Haynes may actually be insane.   Ministry: The Lost Gospels is one fucked up read but you will absolutely love the ride.  

This is a great read because of two things:  1) Al Jourgensen tells the whole story, holds nothing back, and lets it rip and 2) Al Jourgensen has led one interesting life.  It's a miracle the guy has survived to tell his tale.  

Is he the Keith Richards of his genre?  Read Ministry: The Lost Gospels and find out for yourselves.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/ministry-frontman-al-jourgensen-on-his-sex-and-drugs-heavy-new-autobiography-20130708

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/outtakes-from-ministry-the-lost-gospels-according-to-al-jourgensen-1

http://www.amazon.com/Ministry-Lost-Gospels-According-Jourgensen-ebook/dp/B00CGNPPJK

Stale Book Review #29: Fall to Pieces

Fall to Pieces by Mary Forsberg Weiland

Cost: $0.75US

Page Count: 288

Very rarely do I ever get to read two books and get two different perspectives about the same subject.  I tend to jump from subject to subject because my curiosity and intellect apparently has the attention span of a gnat.  But, that's ok...at least I read many books on many subjects.  I'm a well-read and well-rounded gnat.  A renaissance gnat.

Fall to Pieces, by Mary Weiland, is the other half of the Scott Weiland (of STP and stale review #27 fame) saga.  She's the yin to his yang, so to speak.  I've got to be honest, normally the memoir of a rock star wife would hold absolutely no interest for me.  For some reason, Fall to Pieces called to me.  So, I figured it was short and it could tell the other side to the STP story.  I actually found Fall to Pieces and the Scott Weiland book, Not Dead and Not for Sale on the same night and spent less than a few bucks for both of them.  Finding this to be a good deal I thought it might be fun to read both biographies and compare notes.  Hint:  Mary is a far superior writer.

Mary is candid.  She holds no punches and appears to tell the whole story.  I totally respect her candor and her bravery to digging into some really deep and really personal issues.  And no, you hound dogs out there, she doesn't talk about her sex life.  Scott was the opposite in his strict adherence to the vague.  Mary's novel was like a Hollywood tragic love story.  Scott's book was a PBS documentary.  But, that's cool and to each their own, right?

Fall to Pieces runs you right through Mary's childhood, her meeting of Scott Weiland (while she was still a child of 16), their falling in love, her modeling career, their drug use and spiral into the drug abyss, the yo-yo of recovery and relapse for both her and Scott, Scott's arrest(s), their collective rock bottom, and finally her diagnosis with bipolar disorder.  Now, this...THIS... turned out to be the interesting part.  Turns out, I have never read anything that could actually portray what it is like within the mind of a person in both a completely manic phase of bipolar and also within their mind during those depressed phases.  To this, I must give Mary kudos. Well done, chick.  Undiagnosed and untreated, bipolar disorder is scary as fuck.  For her to go through the steps to get diagnosed and then a proper dose of the proper meds took a lot of courage and I'm sure hard work.  I'm sure that her being a recovering heroin addict didn't make the process any smoother.

So, Fall to Pieces was not normally what I would read and/or write about.  But, in the end I actually liked the book.  Mary does an infinitely better job at getting into some of the details that I like in a rock book:  she tells a little about the bands and the process of creation.  Even though she wasn't the artist herself (and was probably fucked up most of the time) Mary turned out to be a decent reporter.  

If you can find this book give it a whirl.  Particularly if you are in the mental health field or are interested in learning about bipolar disorder, I would definitely recommend.

*PSA:  If you or someone you know is having difficulty functioning in this world with a mental disorder, please contact a mental health professional.  Thank you and be well, people.

Stale Book Review #28 (actually #15) - The Association

The Association by Bentley Little

Cost: $3.95US

Page Count: 438

Bentley Little is most likely the creepiest author that is actively writing today.  King might be more prolific, and very creepy himself, Mr. Little is...damn his stuff is strange.

So, The Association.  I really enjoyed this reading this one.  In fact, once I picked it up I had an extremely difficult time putting it down.  Yes, it was on a sick, sadistic level, but it was very good.   I read it in two sittings.  Hey, my eyes get tired and need to take a break...suck it! 

The story goes like this:  Barry and Maureen are a couple that have bought a home in an exclusive, gated-type, fancy-pants neighborhoods somewhere of in them quiet hills of Utah.  The land of beauty, legend, and men with six wives and forty children.  But, I digress...  Barry and Mo (as I called them), begin to realize that something is just a little bit 'off' about their new homestead.

You see, this neighborhood is overlorded by a homeowner's association that takes the idea of the HOA to a whole new level.  The application process to even be allowed to buy in the exclusive, gated community must've been a strain on the buyers.  That sucks because Barry and Maureen are likable folk.  They're good people and appear to get along well with one another.  However, that yard sale is just not fucking cool in the eyes of the HOA.  The yard sale attempt and fine (yes, fine) are just the start of the madness.  It slowly snowballs from there.

So, over a relatively short amount of time, neighbors just suddenly start to up and disappear.  No trace.  Nothing.

Then there are the murders.

Then there are the dildos.  Seriously.

The Association is fucked.  But, in a really, really good way.  It's a mind-bender and I love that about Little.  He's never afraid to breach a subject or just take it one step too far.  As a writer, Bentley Little has some balls.  I respect that.

On a side note:  I live in a neighborhood with a homeowner's association.  I am petrified of them, now.

Stale Book Review #27: Not Dead & Not For Sale

Not Dead & Not For Sale by Scott Weiland

Cost: $3.00US

Page Count: 238

Not Dead & Not For Sale is a super-short read.  This is good because there really isn't a whole hell of a lot to this book.  I love rock books.  Seriously, I will post a picture of the shelves that line my walls that contain all the biographies of bands and artists.  I can't get enough.  So, when I saw Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland's book for sale for a few bucks, I picked it up.  

I'm not sure about how I feel about this book.  Here are a few problems that I had with it:

1.  There was a noticeable lack of detail.  About anything.  Reading it seemed a lot like reading the itinerary for a professional conference.  I did this.  This happened.  This happened.  That's all.  Fuck, it got frustrating.  Tell me MORE, Scott!

2.  Weiland's relationship with Mary is complicated and convoluted.  Her book is the next installment on Stale Reviews.  But, Scott just glosses over it all.  Like it was not that important.

3.  I really enjoy reading about the creative process that is making music.  The interplay between musicians, bandmates.  Nada in this book.

4.  Weiland is a recovering hardcore drug addict.  The fact that he can recall any details at all is probably an amazing thing.  So...I try (TRY) not to be overly critical.  

But, despite these serious stylistic problems, I actually enjoyed reading this book.  Honestly, it was so devoid of any detail I got through the thing in about two hours.  Seriously.  And I'm not really a wicked-fast reader, either.  

In the end, Not Dead & Not For Sale left me feeling empty.  Was this intentional?  Is Scott Weiland some sort of mastermind in making the reader feel as he does most of the time?  If so...well, fucking spot on, dude.  If it wasn't intentional...well, fuck you Weiland.

Read this book if you want to.  If you are a big rock book doofus like me, you probably have already.  But, if you want a really good rock book read Motley Crue's The Dirt...fuck me that was a good read.

On a side note, I saw Stone Temple Pilots when they breezed through Tampa during the Purple Tour.  It was a memorable show becauseI got to see Mick Jones and Big Audio Dynamite and they were totally awesome.  Growing up, I loved the Clash so seeing Jones was a big ass thrill.  STP was really good, too.  In fact, they were WAY better than I expected them to be.  Just a killer set.

Mick Jones

That is all.

Stale Book Review #26: The Eye Of God

The Eye of God by James Rollins

Cost: $6.98US

Page Count: 401

It should come as surprise to no one that I am a huge sucker for James Rollins and his books.  In particular, the Sigma Force novels.  I'm not sure what the allure is, to be honest.  Maybe because a Rollins novel is like watching a really good action flick.  Plus, there is very little of the romance vibe that I normally hate in popular novels.  My thought is, if you want romance in a novel...read a fuckin' romance novel.

Anyway, The Eye of God is a recent installment in the James Rollins pantheon. Of course it revolves around the elite operations team of Sigma Force.  In this particular installment, Sigma Force is on the trail to recover a satellite that was thrust back to Earth after spending a little quality time within the tail of a comet.  Apparently, a little dark energy (dark matter) was detected and the science nerds want their hands on it to fully find out what happened.  The powerful folks want it back so that other powerful folks don't get it first.  One problem:  it crash landed in the remote regions of Mongolia.  

Luckily for Sigma Force, Commander Pierce and his lover/partner/assassin Seichan are in Southeast Asia attempting to hunt down Seichan's long-lost mother.  This is a whole story in and of itself.  But, this angle somehow weaves it's way back around and old mom makes her way into the satellite angle.  Interesting twist, but I won't give it away...as you know, I'm not really into spoilers.

The team converges upon Mongolia.  In addition to the normal Sigma Force players, you get some help from Vatican archivist Vigor, his granddaughter and Italian policewoman Rachel, and scientist Jada.  None of these newbies really add nor take away from the story.  They're just there.  But, that's ok.  There is a new Sigma operative named Duncan who has a pretty cool fetish that helps out the team in the end.  He's a cool character and I hope Rollins keeps him around.

The whole plot is centered upon found artifacts of the great Ghengis Khan...you know, the Mongolian badass?  Anyway, there is twists, turns, and threads that weave between the modern day and the ancient times of the great Khan.  Pretty cool and deftly done by the author.  

I won't give away the ending but the world does get saved.  But, you'll have to spend a few hours with the book in order to find out how.  

In the proverbial nutshell:  The Eye of God is a good read.  Fast-paced, fun, and has enough action to choke a Navy Seal.  Good stuff.

Also, check out James Rollins' website here.  It's actually not a bad site.  Kudos