Saturday, October 11, 2014

Stale Book Review #30: Ministry

Ministry: The Lost Gospels According to Al Jourgensen by Al Jourgensen
Cost: $5.00US
Page Count: 272

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"
- Jesus Built My Hotrod

Ministry Cover
Al Jourgensen has achieved just about the impossible:  he's written a book that almost matches the insanity of Motely Cure's The Dirt.  Almost...I mean it's a really close race and I would solidly put Ministry: The Lost Gospels firmly in second place all time rock book reads.  Holy shit, it's really good.

Let's get everyone up to speed (pun intended).  Al Jourgensen is pretty much the mastermind behind the industrial metal band (I really don't know how to describe the group) Ministry.  Ministry...for those that really don't know...is an excellent mix of industrial noise, EDM, and metal.  It's so odd but eclectic and extremely well-done at the same time.  However, there are no Beach Boy hooks to grab a listener and give them a big old hug.  Nope, Ministry is all about a dental drill to your eardrum. The beauty of it is...you will like it.

I promise this will be the last rock and roll related biography for quite a while on Stale Reviews.  It's just that they are so dang easy to read and I plowwwww through them like nothing.  But...no more for a while.  Cross my heart.

Al Jourgensen
In Ministry: The Lost Gospels  Jourgensen holds zero punches and relives what he can remember about  the drug-addled '90's.  Let me break it down:  people in the rock world were getting fucked up.  Al was fueled on heroin and pot and cocaine and alcohol and speed and, well you name it and Jourgensen was using it and then producing and extremely intense brand of music.  The music of Ministry is probably the most intense and anxiety-inducing that I have ever heard.  That is what makes it great.  But, Al went through Hell to be able to create Ministry's sound.  

What is most interesting is Jourgensen's view on the music world:  he hates it because it's so fucked.  For example, Al has Ministry which has won awards, accolades, and is renowned worldwide for being a pioneer in industrial music.  Al equates Ministry with a job.  That was interesting to read.  Ministry, to Al Jourgensen is a 9-5 with all the pressures involved and that shit gives him ulcers.  That can't be any fun.  On the other hand, his side band The Revolting Cocks is one in which he loves.  Al loves RevCo because there is no pressure and it's fun.  The Revolting Cocks is a hilarious band...but, they're really fucking good, too.  The dude is pretty much a musical genius.  Just a twisted one.

Your mother will hate that you read this book. Your mother will hate that you listen to Ministry. 
So, yeah, mama probably don't want to read about how Al was shitting and pissing and throwing up blood because of extreme drug and alcohol abuse over the years.  Mama probably don't want to hear about Al and Courtney Love shooting up together and the disdain that Al has for so many in the music industry.  Tu Madre most likely doesn't want to hear about Al's escapades with Jello Biafra, Tim Leary, and Gibby Haynes.  For the record, Gibby Haynes may actually be insane.   Ministry: The Lost Gospels is one fucked up read but you will absolutely love the ride.  

This is a great read because of two things:  1) Al Jourgensen tells the whole story, holds nothing back, and lets it rip and 2) Al Jourgensen has led one interesting life.  It's a miracle the guy has survived to tell his tale.  

Is he the Keith Richards of his genre?  Read Ministry: The Lost Gospels and find out for yourselves.




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